Everything you could possibly want to know about me. And plenty you probably wouldn't. Myspace-style, pah...
Q1: David Faylin, What states have you lived in?
Despair, anguish and serenity.
Q2: David Faylin, Are you multitasking right now?
Oh yeah: left finger and right finger both typing simultaneously. I'm blinking too. And breathing. Man, Mr. Mult-f***ing-itasker, me.
Q3: David Faylin, First thing you wash in the shower?
The shower tray.
Q4: David Faylin, Do you plan outfits?
Of course. Top. Jeans. Check for holes.
Q5: David Faylin, Any current scabs or bruises?
Just a tiny bruise following that last shark-attack catastrophe. What can I say, I'm a survivor.
Q6: David Faylin, Are you klutsy or accident prone?
Yes. I even dream about them. My dream insurance premiums are quite exorbitant. Sure is lucky I can fly in there.
Q7: David Faylin, Ever tripped over your own feet?
Only when avoiding cracks and tramps in the pavement.
Q8: David Faylin, How long has it been since you took vitamins?
I haven't taken vitamins since I was an old person.
Q9: David Faylin, When is the last time you took medicine?
Bugger, I should've taken it before dinner. I'll just pop double, that'll slake it. I think that'd be prudent.
Q10: David Faylin, What was the medicine for?
Hair-strain. Acute.
Q11: David Faylin, Ever had any illnesses or diseases?
Only terminal ones. The fun's in the disproof.
Q12: David Faylin, Do you get headaches often?
Nope. I pride myself on having such a small brain. And such a capacious skull cavity.
Q13: David Faylin, Do you have health insurance?
Nope. I support the NHS. Nights spent on Casualty trolleys out in a corridor put hairs on your chest.
Q14: David Faylin, Whats the closest thing to you that's red?
My eyes.
Q15: David Faylin, Do you want plastic surgery?
No, I don't trust anything that's not biodegradable. Don't want my face to persist after my head's decomposed.
Q16: David Faylin, If it was free, what 1 thing would you have done?
Chin augmentation. Or an extra eye. Or maybe two. Can I have bionic hearing? Eyebeams?
Q17: David Faylin, How much do you think it costs to have a boob job?
More than I could afford. I could stretch to one if you can get them done singly.
Q19: David Faylin, Do you have or want any tattoo's?
Yes, I have a tattoo of my face. On my arm. I have a tattoo of a man doing a tattoo on my back.
Q20: David Faylin, If so, what do you have or want?
I would want a tattoo of a pillow on the back of my neck.
Q21: David Faylin, Would you consider permanent make-up?
Only if I could put on a permanent smile.
Q22: David Faylin, What do you think is the perfect age to start having children?
Physically 22. Mentally, 32. Emotionally 65.
Q23: David Faylin, What are you craving right now?
Happiness. Settle for a Snickers.
Q24: David Faylin, Do you already have names picked out of your future children?
Shadrach, Meshach and Norman.
Q25: David Faylin, Do you floss?
Only between my ears.
Q26. What did your last text message say?
watuu? wr ru?
Q27: David Faylin, What comes to mind when I say cabbage?
Chips.
Q28: David Faylin, Do you like cottage cheese?
I like cottages. I like cheese. But putting the two together just don't correlate to a happy state for me. Weird
Q29: David Faylin, Are you allergic to anything?
I was allergic to the C20th. Thank God that's over.
Q30: David Faylin, What are you listening to right now?
New Order State of the Nation. And the sound of my pain.
Q31: David Faylin, How many countries have you visited?
12.
Q32: David Faylin, Is there anything sparkly in the room you’re in?
Only my 24K personality. And this pallet of ramraided Rolex replicas.
Q33: David Faylin, Do you consider yourself to be religious?
Like Richard Dawkins, I'm quite pious about my athiesm.
Q34: David Faylin, When is the last time you attended a church service?
11:30am. Fourteen years ago.
Q35: David Faylin, Do you want to have a closer relationship with God?
What's in it for me?
Q36: David Faylin, Do you have anyone you can talk to about God and not feel judged?
Not really. Last time I had to ritually summon up two djinn and a pooka just to loosen a simple hex cast by a lady from my neighbouring travelling community.
Q37: David Faylin, Are you saving your money for any big purchase right now?
Yes, to buy back the negative equity on my house.
Q38: David Faylin, If you were given 1k dollars and had to use it on 1 purchase, what would you buy?
About £849GBP' worth of books. And a Snickers. And a packet of Tayto Cheese & Onion.
Q39: David Faylin, What was the last question you asked?
What was the last question you asked.
Q40: David Faylin, Favorite time of the year?
Thursday
Q41: David Faylin, Favorite color?
Translucent.
Q42: David Faylin, Do you sleep with the TV on?
Yes. And the cooker. And the iron. I leave the car running too.
Q43: David Faylin, Have you ever crawled through a window?
No. But I've been thrown through one.
Q44: David Faylin, Have you ever counted to 1,000?
Not me, but I make all my "clients" count out their payments.
Q45: David Faylin, Have you ever dyed your hair?
Peroxide blonde, red [that's true actually]
Oh, turns out that was more than twenty questions. Well, I'll add in some negative ones shortly to adjust the total. (: David.
What? You don't mean you wanted the official CV/Resume version? No way. Man, I hate all that. I hate you for asking! OK, OK, but it ain't pretty...
DoB: 5th December 19, um... something haha.
Qualifications: Bachelors in Advanced Fractions
Work: Computery stuff, boring stuff, crap stuff.
Interests: Writing shite, using Aikido to break cold callers, playing Rondo alla Turca at high speed, flying a helicopter, music, music, music, film, MTB and bike trials.
Well, catch up wit me and say hello at any of my spaces. I would like so much to hear from you there dear friend. I don't bite. These aren't even my teeth (:
You're still here? Oh I get it, you wanna see how I look? God, you're so superficial haha. Oh I'm sure there are pics of me somewhere.
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